FAMILY LEGACY LETTER #5

The Gratitude Principle Letter

Your chance to remind beneficiaries to show gratitude and appreciation for any benefit left from your estate. Entitlement and expectation are not encouraged. A letter from your heart to those grieving, explaining the fairness you have left as a legacy.

Part of our process involves having a gratitude conversation with each of your children. Out of all the people I work with understand I'm the first one to preach fairness when it comes to family estate distributions. The huge majority of children I meet are simply grateful for anything their parents pass down.

Sometimes though, absolute fairness is just not possible to achieve. Maybe there is just one farm, too many children, not enough farm assets, or maybe people die before the asset values are achieved or there are unequal values. Maybe there's a desire for a family member to take over the main farm. There might be a tonne of other reasons yet, even if unequal, we still manage to create estate gifts and generosity as part of the planning we do. 

Sadly, 1 or 2 in a hundred conversations I can strike someone with a toxic attitude of entitlement or expectation and a lacking of gratitude and appreciation. They believe the world or their family, owes them a living. Other times, it's a son or daughter-in-law who turns up with an attitude that can sabotage the good family plans.

But the massive majority of children aren't sitting back waiting for Mum or Dad to die to fix their financial woes. They want mum and dad to enjoy life and to enjoy the rewards of a life's work. They are the kids I love chatting with. Either way, my driving goal is family harmony and all your kids laughing around the tree at Christmas.

Remember there can be reasons why you've established your beneficiaries shares in a in a certain way. Some of these can include the need for a Business Legacy Adjustment, where your key priority is to continue the business in the family, there might be a Contribution Recognition, where specific children have contributed to the growth of the family wealth, disproportionately. A Specific Needs Reserve, where a child may need a specific fund or an Opportunity Consideration, where a child may need funds for a specific project, you'd like to help them with. The Deferred Endowment Opportunity where there simply aren't enough resources available in the short term, but some children may have to receive benefits over an extended period.

That's why I created this Letter. It's a way to finally show all the children the intentions you have to be fair to everyone. Your wish for all to accept your wishes and not contest. I hope the words resonate with you and you may use my letter or simply pen your own words in regard to how you've established fairness for your family.